Think D.E.E.P.

It's time to emo again..:P. Recently made a lot of mistakes which caused other people to actually stumble. That's the thing about leaders, every move and everything that they do actually affects others around them. Perhaps that's why I'm not like a great leader yet but just someone learning to be one. It's funny. You try your best, but you still fall and make all sorts of mistakes. It hurts both me, and the other parties involved. Don't worry, this post is not about some particular thing that happened but as God is humbling me, I start to see more mistakes. More weaknesses. More noobishness. I came to a conclusion after seeing all this. I'm not a good leader. If I am good, will all these happen? Will not GMC grow and flourish? Sometimes I really wonder, why God chose me? Sometimes I even think, whether is it really God who chose me or not.

For those youth from GMC who are reading this, don't be surprised. Leaders have this struggle. We are chosen by God to help you guys grow. The problem is, we are still human. And we make mistakes, plenty of them. We are sort of the center of attention to the devil. The devil knows how to 'strike the leader, take out the army'. That's why we struggle still. This is more of an emo post but there is something to learn from here as well. We can't run away from making mistakes.

If we really are honest with ourselves, we will see that we sin terribly and bountifully everyday. I am starting to see that more. Actually, we're not even better than a serial rapist or a mass murderer. In the bible Jesus said that if we look at a woman lustfully, we have commited adultery and if we are angry at our brother, we fall on the same judgement and murdering. How many times we actually had lustful thoughts or was angry at someone? Even for a short period of time? Plenty, countless, almost everyday. That's why, we are like serial rapists or mass murderers. So what does mass murderers and serial rapists got to do to be saved? To improve? To change? Believe in Jesus.

You know, we don't really like to see our own faults because it makes us vulnarable, it shows that we are not good and it means we have to leave our comfort zone and put effort to change. That's why we try to hide our weaknesses and every chance we have we will try to say something or do something to cover our mistakes so that no one knows about it. I'm guilty of course.

When it comes to mistakes, Jesus likes a humble and contrite heart. A humble heart is a heart that admits his/her mistakes and a contrite heart is a heart that feels sorry and repents of his/her mistakes. Since we can't run away from making mistakes, why hide? Just admit it to God or someone close to you that can be trusted (must be a Christian). When we do that more often, God will change us and forgive us. That's a promise He made. 100% true.

About me being a good leader or not, only God can answer that question. But one thing I know for sure. I can't do it without Him. I'm might not be a good leader but He is good. If GMC grows, it will be because of Him. I only did my part, that small 1%. Holy Spirit, do your work. We need You. If You don't do anything, we won't be able to grow. Help us please. I still believe God chose me though, for whatever reason He has for doing so. Help me improve. Amen

Anyway...not emo di...coz I know that God is with me...Just wanted to share this thought...ciaoz.